Thursday, February 26, 2009

broken family

Hiwalay na ang parents ko. When my mother left way back in 1991 to work here sa Amerika, alam ko nuon na baka dumating nga ang sitwasyon na baka magkahiwalay sila. Paniwala ko kasi, long distance relationship dont work, pero I was hopeful na di mangyayari yun. College na ako nung nalaman ko na nanay has divorced my tatay. ang reason ni nanay, she has fallen out of love. Alam nyo kasi, maaga silang nag asawa. Si tatay naman, typical na padre de pamilya na dapat sya ang boss, at nagdedesisyon para sa lahat. Minsan napapagbubuhatan nya ng kamay si nanay. may mga pagkakataon din na sila'y nag aaway, pero nagkakabati naman. The realization of a broken family really hit me hard. I learned about it ng sinabi ng kapatid ko ang kinatatakutan ko. Pauwi ako nuon ng bahay namin sa qc. Habang naglalakad ako, di ko namalayan na tumutulo na pala luha ko. Alam ko na hindi perfect ang family ko, pero syempre, kagaya ng ibang pamilya, nangangarap ako na buo ang pamilya ko at masaya. Pero kahit ganun ang nangyari, di kami pinabayaan ni nanay. Sya kasi ang nagpapaaral sa amin. Tatlo kaming nasa college nuong panahon na yun. Di ko rin naman pinabayaan ang pag aaral ko. Somehow, it became a motivation for me to study really hard. Pero yung mga frustration and anger ko, nauwi sa pagrerebelde. Natuto akong uminom, at mag yosi, at makipag one night stand. It was an avenue for me to numb the hurt na I was feeling. Pero mabuti na lang, dumating din ang realization na mali ang ginagawa ko. Natuto ako to accept kung ano nangyari, and somehow find my self. Ang nanay ko became involved with an American. Pero her life became hell too, kasi yung lalaki ay walang trabaho, lasenggero at masama pa ugali. He was the typical kontrabida na mabait sa amin kung nasa harap si nanay, pero pag talikod, demonyo pala. Pero dumating din yung time na hiniwalayan din sya ni nanay, thank goodness. Nandito na kami nung nangyari yun. Nagkasagutan pa kami ng kupal na yun. Akala nya submissive ang mga asians, di nya alam, mas mahaba pa sungay ko sa kanya. I love my family kasi. They are my strength and motivation. I know things will never be the same, but i'm hopeful about the future.

1 comment:

  1. hopefully, you would give things a second chance!life we made of course is a manifestations of what we have experienced and learned but this also makes us so guarded that we lost the spontaniety of life. we stopped, even if we love to continue, just because of a previous experience. to calculate risk and jump into it makes life a learning process. if things need not to repeat, how come history does? and that what makes simply amazing!
    hopefully, you will at least try, work this long distance relationship and not just find ways to simply drop it because it failed the last time!
    i wish the future will be a lot brighter and better!GOD BLESS US ALL

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